got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
