We're facebook friends in real life
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
