already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
