Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
