I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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