My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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