I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
