you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
