in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
