I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
