Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
