I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
