one two three fourrrrnication!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
