I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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