I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
