i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
