Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
