I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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