is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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