i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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