the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
