its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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