what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
