You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I died a long time ago.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So squirting runs in the family.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
