I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Buhtt sex?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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