We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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