Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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