lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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