when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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