My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
