There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
