I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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