You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you had me at cake vodka
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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