3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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