So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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