I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
