I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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