I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
