You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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