Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
