Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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