PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
