At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
