my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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