as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
