i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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