Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
