I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
