I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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