I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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