he wants to bone in the snuggie
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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