the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
