She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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