She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can you bring me the toilet please
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
