Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
