By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This toilet bowl is my home.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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