3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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