you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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