We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
