Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Randomize
